we are what we pretend to be.

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My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

the fuck kind of romeo and juliet is this 

2 hours ago with 226340 notes Reblog / via / source




The joke that Bender tells but never finishes (while crawling through the ceiling) actually has no punchline. According to Judd Nelson, he ad-libbed the line. Originally, he was supposed to tell a joke that would end when he came back into the library and said, “Forgot my pencil”, but no one could come up with a joke for that punchline.

Did they just make up this entire movie on the spot.

Yes, yes they did.

2 hours ago with 155114 notes Reblog / via / source



wtf is morning wood 


Thank you that’s exactly what I thought 

2 hours ago with 6013 notes Reblog / via / source



okay, but, like, a fic where Scott gets cursed and it can only be broken by True Love’s Kiss

and Allison and Kira are glancing at each other awkwardly like, “I dunno, you were his first love?” “But you and him click so well together, you know?”

and Isaac’s rubbing the back of…

2 hours ago with 8373 notes Reblog / via / source


So imagine a Harry Potter TV series but BETTER than Game of Thrones because seasons 1 and 2 would be Founders, 3-5/6 would be Marauders, 6/7-13/14 would be the books, and then 13/14-forever would be post-Hogwarts Golden Trio and Next-Gen and it would be absolutely brilliant.

2 hours ago with 274804 notes Reblog / via / source



so my family plays this game where if someone is holding something and you yell “drop the bass” they have to drop what they’re holding so my mom was holding a carton of eggs so i yelled it and she looked me dead in the eye, dropped then eggs on the floor and whispered “you’ve gone too far

adopt me

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I swear, this gif was like made for this post.  (*≧▽≦)ノ

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Oh, he’s beautiful! And look, he’s your age!

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smoo told me to draw zutara week stuff so instead i drew some modern au gaang. sorry for my shitty handwriting.

2 hours ago with 46569 notes Reblog / via / source



God I bet..
I bet Sam fucking LOVES having guests. So he actually made a fucking massive breakfast for them, and he doesn’t know what these guys eat - Natasha’s tiny, so Sam makes a fruit salad, but then, maybe Steve (who’s huge) likes fruit salad too, so he ends up with a punchbowl full of fruit. But then also waffles and pancakes, and eggs… though who knows how these people eat their eggs? Sam likes scrambled, but he boils some just in case, and sets up a frying pan in case either of them wants fried. Better put some water on to boil in case someone wants poached…. While he has the eggs out, might as well make french toast. But then actually, Natasha’s european, right? They like that weird-ass continental breakfast shit, so he rolls up some little bits of ham and cheese, which looks weird without croissants and muffins and whatnot so he nips out to get some. And some juice. And some tea. And some hair straighteners.

And so Natasha eats a few bits of everything, but Steve… well Steve grew up during a time where you did not waste food - clearing your plate is ingrained in him, so. Yeah, he did have a big breakfast. He had all the breakfast.

And some hair straighteners.

2 hours ago with 5403 notes Reblog / via / source

I’m sorry, that’s crazy…Walls opening…

2 hours ago with 3903 notes Reblog / via / source

She certainly has a mind of her own.

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Rose: Come on Doctor, lets go to the beach!

Doctor: Just let me put some suitable footwear on.